Intimacy. Into me you see
Updated: May 8, 2020
Creating loving and harmonious relationships is a deep longing in every heart.
We all long to have meaningful connections with our beloved friends, family and intimate partners. As we know, the longing for this is often not enough to create sustainable and balanced relationships where we feel fully seen and heard. Intimacy, like so many beautiful emotional states, is a practice and an art form. Knowing this is liberating, because then we can begin to be curious and enjoy the journey of Intimacy... Into me you see.
Do I love myself?
How often do we look into the mirror and see the flaws rather than the perfection? How often do we prioritise others feelings over our own? How often do we get a strong sense that something isn't right but bypass it in order to keep the peace?
All of these questions are a great way to begin the journey with our most important lifelong relationship. The one with ourselves. Quantum theory now tells us that the Universe is a mirror and impersonal in the sense that it doesn't take sides, it just mirrors back to us what we send out. When it comes to our intimate relationships, this is where we see it most clearly. So often we think that if our partners, children, parents, co-workers did it differently than we would be happy. And this is where we begin this journey.
I am responsible for my feelings
How we speak and treat ourselves is how we will engage with our relationships and so on some level it is a relief to know that the ball is in our hands. This of course, is daunting when we don't have the tools to truly understand what that means and how to implement it so that we can get on with enjoying our relationships and creating harmony and joy on a daily basis whether we are gardening by ourselves outside or in a heated conversation with a beloved member of our family. This is one of the practices that I wish we all had received in our younger years because it's so fundamental in recognising that when we are upset with another, it has far more to do with ourselves.
Reprogramming our inner dialogue
I am going to love you no matter what..me.
Our desire for shared connection and love is built into the fabric of our amazing biological electro-magnetic bodies. So why is it sometimes so elusive and difficult to find? We have been shown by those we grew up around, from family to friends to teachers that what we want is outside of ourselves. Our culture is really only beginning to understand the incredible importance of inner work, inner compassion and loving ourselves with how we speak to ourselves in our own minds. Until recently that would have been considered self-centered and in fact it is. And that is not a bad thing. It is a necessary part of building our Intimacy. Before we can share intimacy we must know how to share it. And we are our first love, our first relationship, and our last.
Patience and Curiosity
There are so many joys to be experienced with our beloved ones. Our desire to connect deeply and build lasting trust and intimacy is in our blueprint. As we open to our curiosity and breathe deeply into the spaces that need more care, we will see the unfolding of deeper intimacy and bloom in our connections.